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The Psychological Dating Perspective for Women, What Guys Want

The Psychological Dating Perspective for Women, What Guys Want

The nurturing, “happiness” vibe that men find attractive is expressed most easily among women who are socially secure.

Most guys with a dating history will tell you that even if a woman appeared physically very attractive at first, if their personality is lacking, or self-confidence and esteem needs work, it makes dating that person very hard.

Therefore, what HQ men really think of as the Holy Grail is a kind of trifecta: decent shape (she works out or is otherwise not obese and unhealthy), the happy / nurturing demeanor, and a confident, developed personality.

As for the third trait; for most guys, a lack of confidence is the biggest deal-breaker. Examples include a woman who is very “clingy” and overly-attached, unsure of herself, unable to make decisions, and without a sense of individuality (a tendency to become a dependent, and absorb her mate’s life like an amoeba).

And let’s not forget how like attracts like. For instance, let’s take a woman very concerned with material status, who appears conceited, with wrong priorities, and confusion about self-identity. Such a woman, heavily swayed by the ego is unlikely to attract a higher quality guy. She may, however, attract scores of guys who are also with ego-dependent personalities.

(In a sense, these are the types of women we could call “beta attractive”, continually attracting low quality suitors or entering damaged relationships).

On the flipside, a confident woman who is not afraid of expressing herself and communicating her intentions can quickly attract the attention of the higher quality men.

As a man, I can tell you that these basic evolutionary qualities of female attraction can keep any guy perpetually interested.

So, as a woman, what steps should you take?

Obtaining Alpha Female Attractive Qualities

Using the model of evolutionary psychology, and the trifecta of what men find attractive, it’s possible to build an outline for any woman to become surprisingly sexually attractive.

       Working Out: Both men and women have to work out like crazy if they are serious about becoming as appealing as possible. Just as women respond to masculine physiques, men respond to signs of fertility and mates who are also fit (men are famously visual creatures—at least at first).

There are plenty of resources online for exercise and weight-loss. For many, it’s not an easy path, but it IS at least something in your control. Even if you’re genetically not that symmetrically “gifted”, just obtaining a better body through diet and exercise can offset most issues.

Do not believe the cultural myth that guys care about things like boob size. This is not, and never will be, a real factor. Basic physical shape (weight) is, however, a very important factor—but it’s something that’s very much in your power to change.

Further, do not believe another myth that if a lady works out, she’ll get muscular and “gross”. Wrong. It’s not easy to develop big muscles. Long before that point occurs, practices like weight training will only help you burn calories and stay lean.

Again, if you’re serious about enhancing yourself to your max potential, you have to hit the gym—there’s no way around this.

       The Positive Vibe: The “happiness” that men in the studies find attractive is really a positive, warm, nurturing vibe—elements that are appealing based on evolutionary triggers, namely a man’s instinctual desire to find a woman with the right attributes to take care of himself and their young.

Learning about killing the ego is a great start, as the positive demeanor is actually tied in with behavior coming from the core personality, as well as an interest in the welfare of others—which is something men find very appealing.

For you ladies with a tendency to lean to the realm of cynicism, it’s admittedly more difficult to become “warmer and happier”. What you need to think about is trying to reduce the amount of stress in your life that may be blocking you from a naturally warmer part of your personality that’s being stifled by external forces.

Practice socializing, withholding judgments, and trying to presume the best among strangers before imagining the worst. This slight adjustment can make a big difference.

       Confidence: While confidence may seem less apparent as a factor in visual studies (such as with photographs), in face-to-face interactions confidence is the make-or-break factor that quality men care about.

Furthermore, remember that confidence, as described in this blog so far, is about knowing who you are, and not creating a fake behavioral front—in other words, eliminating the construct-ego.

This confidence will also reinforce the other factors; and simultaneously those factors (like working out) further enhances your confidence.

For women, by combining this trifecta of qualities, you will become much, much more charismatic. This, of course, multiplies your opportunities in life.

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